Stressed but Happy

The last time I wrote, I spoke about how I had decided to try pushing on a few doors to see if they would open. And that I have an exhibition coming up at the Western Ave Emack and Bolio's and on that same weekend that starts, I will be at the Adirondack Woodworking and Fine Arts Show . So as you can imagine, it's been a little stressful this week trying to get everything done on time.

Overwhelmed and stressed? Yes, but extremely happy. Happy as a pig in muck, in fact. This is what I love to do. Yes, my office is a mess and I can't move for knocking over sheets of matting.

I've broken glass in the frames, I've run out of printer ink, my other printer broke and is at the menders, I'm tired, my feet hurt, my back hurts, I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew and I forgot to eat today, with a million thoughts and lists whirling around my brain. But I'm happy and content pootling around doing all of this.

Both the art gallery wall and the show is a first, and it will certainly be a learning experience. In fact I have already learned an important lesson - don't procrastinate!! Oh, well...I'm off to make some coffee.

Cheers!

Proactive Pushiness?

It's been a little while huh? Life gets hectic sometimes. And a dose of poison ivy hasn't helped matters!

So I have been trying to put my money where my mouth is and start "knocking on doors" to see which ones will open. Some might call it "being pushy" but I prefer the word "proactive". It's really not my style to self-promote and ask people to look at my photography although I've been getting my toes wet in showing my new photos for sale on my Facebook page to kind comments and reviews . My fear is that people will look at my work and wonder why I think so much of myself. I wonder that too sometimes. I get all insecure about what I do and start second guessing myself.

However, this past couple of months, I have pushed myself to be a little more assertive and, so far, I have seen some positive results! I emailed Emack & Bolio's  and asked if they would be interested in having some of my work hanging up in their store.  In July 18th for two months, I will exhibiting 15-20 framed photographs there. Scary but exciting!

That same month, July 16-18, I will be at the Northville Woodworking and Fine Arts Weekend showing and (hopefully) selling some of my artwork. Woodworking and Fine Arts Weekend

Kevin Thompson who is the worship director at the church I attend, asked me to provide the artwork for his new CD that he's bringing out shortly and, after sending him various abstract photographs for his viewing pleasure, he is using one of my photographs. So I'm looking forward to seeing that when it comes out soon. (By the way, his last CD "Ebo Jones Goes Home" is really good!)
I guess all in all, being assertive is not a bad thing after all, even though every British bone in my body seems to shudder in protest at the thought of me pushing myself forward. I guess if I want to succeed, I'll have to do it. Perhaps I need to be a little more driven and disciplined. Let's see what the rest of the year brings....

Cheers for reading!

Twisted Tales and other Stories

After spending nearly a year on less than 4 hours sleep at night, I now have a new lease of life! As I've said before, twin (or single) mattresses pushed together are so much better than a king sized mattress.

Anyway - what this has meant for me is that I am once more feeling creative. I've had a pretty long dry spell on the writing and photography front, but now am raring to go. I just read my last blog on mediocrity, and it really has slapped me upside the head. I forced myself to sit down and write the other night. As part of the Redbubble community, I am in the Twisted Tales writing group, which is for short stories that have to have some kind of twist in them. They have a fortnightly (every two weeks) "Star Twister" challenge with a prompt and a 350 word limit.

Challenging people to keep within these parameters really forces one to chop and winnow all the chaff in the story being written. To flesh out a character, motives, a storyline and a twist in only 350 words really requires some attention to detail. How do you set up your reader to read one way and not see the twist coming? There are always some clues in the best stories.

It feels good to be creative again. My writing mojo is awakening and I am really going to try this year to have some good stuff to show by the end of it. If you would like to see my newest short story (and those of you who are my Facebook friends have seen the link there), here it is. Hope you enjoy Aftermath

Cheers! and thanks for reading.

Passion and Mediocrity

So once again, Monday rolls around. The beginning of a new week. When it's raining, all I want to do is curl up in bed with a good book, not drag myself out of my warm comfort just to sit in an office and sell insurance all day. It's really not my passion in life!

What is my passion in life?

Well, first of all, my husband Dan. Here he is cooking for me on a Sunday afternoon. He makes me laugh every day. He's cheeky, generous, gorgeous and puts up with me..that must make him special!

I also love to take photographs and write (as you can see from my profile). Am I passionate about that? Well, I think so, but what stands between me and being really good at it is me. I procrastinate.

For example: I'm supposed to be learning Aperture from a really good book that teaches you something new each chapter, but have I done it yet?
No.
I have, however just signed up for photography night-classes, so perhaps there is hope for me. The problem with me is that I want to be really good at something, but I don't want to have to work hard at it in case I fail. And that's a sucky attitude!

And that's where I struggle. I think nearly all my life, I have been quite good at art and creating, but because of (perhaps) a lack of belief in myself and the lack of discipline to really learn how to be better, I set myself up for failure before I even begin.

Can one be passionate about something that is mediocre? I think I might try to apply myself to the creative things I love to do and see what comes out of it. If I fail, then at least I had a go, rather than sit back and bemoan the fact that I'm crap and so many people are much better at things than I am.

I'm going to whup myself upside the head with a 2 by 4 and see how much I have progressed by the end of 2010. I wonder if I'll be any good?

Cheers and thanks for reading!

Reconnecting

This past couple of days, I have reconnected with some old friends. I love it when someone from your past of whom you have fond memories just pops up.

When I was a youth pastor back in Ipswich, UK, I was asked a couple of times to work at a Christian conference called Spring Harvest. Thousands of people would attend the Butlins holiday camps in England, to learn from the many seminars and to enjoy the worship time in a huge circus big top. I did a couple of stints as a detached youth worker there in 1997 and 1998 with a couple of very wonderful people with whom I have just just reconnected.

First up is Sean Stillman - he runs a gig in Swansea called Zac's Place. It's like a church, but not like a church. It is all welcoming. It's run in a pub. It has gigs. Sean is a biker and a minister. He is unlike anyone I've ever met. He is funny, generous, passionate about people - all people, and he cuts through the crap. Check out Stiller's Zac's Place Blog and his websites. You will be encouraged and inspired by him and his mates. He's a long-haired biker dude of God!

Sean and I did a "Just Looking" class (in '99 I think) for people at Spring Harvest who were there just because they had come with their Christian spouses. Me and Sean came from two completely different backgrounds, churches and denominations but we had a blast just interacting with people that week, who were searching for meaning in life, or a nice cuppa tea and rich tea biscuit! One of the highlights of that week was Sammy Horner and his band stopping in for a quick couple of foot-stomping songs for the group as a favour to their mate, Sean. Obviously the other highlights were seeing people connect to God for the first time. That was definitely a cool thing.

Another friend, who is also very much linked with Zac's Place through her work and gigs there is Welsh singer/songwriter and very funny person, Lorraine King. I had the privilege of doing detached youth work with her and Sean at Spring Harvest for two years. I was listening to Martyn Joseph - Thunder and Rainbows (The Best We Could Find 1988 - 2000) and heard her voice on the song "Dic Penderyn", so I decided to see if she was on Facebook, as we hadn't been in contact for a few years now, and there she was! How cool to reconnect with her and catch up on all the years. Lorraine is very talented in her songwriting; she writes songs that cut to the heart and then there is the comedienne side of her: she sings in an Abba tribute band called Bjorn Belief - although she has long dark hair, she sings as Agnetha, the blonde one and her other alter-ego is Polly Pardon (a tribute to one of her favourite songwriters, Dolly Parton).

When you haven't seen someone for a long time, the best thing about reconnecting is the feeling that you only just saw them yesterday; when you can just pick up where you left off.

The thing I really get excited about when going home to the UK..friends I haven't seen for years pop up and we natter for hours over a cuppa or a pint like we haven't been apart in the first place.

That's why I love the story of the Prodigal Son in the bible. There have been many times when I have wandered away from the straight and narrow and the one who gave me life, and yet God, my Father and Friend is there always to welcome me home with a huge hug, a metaphorical cuppa tea (Yorkshire Gold better be in heaven!) and we reconnect where we or rather, I left off. He's good like that, and I appreciate it.

I know I have inserted quite a few links today, but linking to Sean and Lorraine's sites are really worthwhile! Hope you enjoy them.

Cheers, and thanks for reading!

Saturdays

I know there is a God, because there is a Saturday morning every weekend. Saturday mornings are made for sleeping, coffee, laziness, chilling, watching Holmes on Homes and listening to Dermot O'Leary on BBC Radio 2 on my computer.

Whenever I get homesick for the Motherland, I come into my office, turn on my Mac and head straight for the BBC where I can listen to my favourite djs.

At the moment, Dermot O'Leary is playing "Down, Down" by Status Quo - that makes me laugh and brings back high school memories by the ton!

I should be editing photographs and learning more about Aperture so that I can make them better, but my photo office has a king-sized mattress and all kinds of junk from Christmas in it right now. (The mattress is a long story, one that involves less than 4 hours of sleep a night for the past year. All I can say is that 2 single mattresses pushed together is definitely the way to go to keep the marriage!!) Basically I'm procrastinating.

But that's what Saturday mornings are for....aren't they?

Priorities

Have been thinking a bit about death recently. This past year, some of my dad's family have been really ill, or have died. My husband's cousin died just after Christmas. Customers of our office have died over Christmas, and most recently, my mum's younger sister died unexpectedly.

It's hard living across the pond and having to prioritise my flights back to the UK when something has happened to a member of my family.

One of the things about working in the US is realising just how good I had it in the UK when it came to vacation/sick/personal/flex-time. I get 15 days vacation a year here which also includes all personal days and sick time. So although I love living here, sometimes it sucks when I can't get the time off to get back home when I really want to. I guess that's life. Of course if something happened to members of my immediate family - my mum, dad, sister or brother, of course I would drop everything to get over there as soon as possible.

Fact. Death is a part of life. (I sound like Dwight Schrute now!) Sometimes it consumes our thinking; at other times, it doesn't even cross our mind. I guess with getting older, it becomes natural to think more about it? I remember my Gran telling me that one of the things she hated about growing older, was that her circle of friends got smaller as one by one they passed away until she was the only one left of them.

What am I trying to say today? I'm not sure...just writing down my random thoughts about life, family, priorities and death. 

I'm sure that my favourite singer/songwriter Martyn Joseph says it a lot better than me. His songs cut to the chase - contradictions in life, death, feeling helpless, joy, heartbreak, love, social commentary - it's all there. If you have never heard his stuff, check him out.

http://www.martynjoseph.com/

Enough of my navel gazing for today!!

Cheers, and thanks for reading.

Opportunity

One of the differences I see between living in the UK and living in the USA is the opportunity that is often grabbed by anyone and everyone here.


I love to write and take photographs and have been encouraged to do so. I think that if I were still living in the UK, I would be shyer about putting myself forward and sharing what I love to do.


People here seem to believe that it's OK to reach for the stars. I'm not talking about fly-by-night "American Idol" syndrome, but that if you work for it, and go for it, then the sky's the limit. I feel that sometimes in the UK (and please forgive me for this, because I love my homeland) one is criticized for trying to be more than they are.


We all have gifts and talents. I believe that God is the Father of all Creation, and if we are made in His image, then we are all creative in so many different ways. What's so wrong with sharing that with each other, and trying to make something of it?


I didn't go into photography to make money, but have found that some people want to buy my photos. I love being creative, and thank Redbubble.com for being such an awesome website where I can do this within a supportive framework. I have found so much inspiration and encouragement here. Oh, and by the way...their printing is of the highest quality.


Please visit http://www.redbubble.com/ and take a look around. I think you will be there for a LONG while. If you want to take a look at what I have done, please visit www.redbubble.com/people/jsheehy 


Thanks for reading, and have a great day!