Passion and Mediocrity

So once again, Monday rolls around. The beginning of a new week. When it's raining, all I want to do is curl up in bed with a good book, not drag myself out of my warm comfort just to sit in an office and sell insurance all day. It's really not my passion in life!

What is my passion in life?

Well, first of all, my husband Dan. Here he is cooking for me on a Sunday afternoon. He makes me laugh every day. He's cheeky, generous, gorgeous and puts up with me..that must make him special!

I also love to take photographs and write (as you can see from my profile). Am I passionate about that? Well, I think so, but what stands between me and being really good at it is me. I procrastinate.

For example: I'm supposed to be learning Aperture from a really good book that teaches you something new each chapter, but have I done it yet?
No.
I have, however just signed up for photography night-classes, so perhaps there is hope for me. The problem with me is that I want to be really good at something, but I don't want to have to work hard at it in case I fail. And that's a sucky attitude!

And that's where I struggle. I think nearly all my life, I have been quite good at art and creating, but because of (perhaps) a lack of belief in myself and the lack of discipline to really learn how to be better, I set myself up for failure before I even begin.

Can one be passionate about something that is mediocre? I think I might try to apply myself to the creative things I love to do and see what comes out of it. If I fail, then at least I had a go, rather than sit back and bemoan the fact that I'm crap and so many people are much better at things than I am.

I'm going to whup myself upside the head with a 2 by 4 and see how much I have progressed by the end of 2010. I wonder if I'll be any good?

Cheers and thanks for reading!